You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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