mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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