My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
