So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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