What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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