dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
