By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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