Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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