There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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