Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
In America we eat man semen.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
