Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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