You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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