btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
