No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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