if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just found puke in my bra..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
