she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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