plz talk dirty to me
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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