Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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