I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
