The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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