I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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