bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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