That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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