I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
When are your genitals available?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
