As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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