We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Randomize
