is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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