we have officially lost it.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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