i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
