This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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