somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
