shes about as inviting as chlamydia
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
