dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
