Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
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