3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
