in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
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And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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