goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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