so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude i'm inner monologue high
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
