everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
