no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
