I feel like I'm in dance class right now
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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