Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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