so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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