nut hugger
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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