Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
