And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize