He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
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You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
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He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
you never un-have a 4some
I am available for nakedness
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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