Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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