I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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