GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
