Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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