I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
