I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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