new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
