I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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