He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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