is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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