i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
