You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
