kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
