Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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