It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
